As I get older, it seems that I have lost my sense of smell. I mean, I can still smell--just not as keenly as before. Is it the result of lots of colds? I can't help but think it has something to do with being a Slacker Mom. Most of my senses have sort of dulled over the past decade. Years of cleaning up vomit, dirty diaper explosions, kitchen catastrophes, etc. have taken their toll on my nose.
It's weird because my husband has the exact opposite problem. He can smell things that the rest of us in the same room can't even detect. He inspects the clean laundry and announces, "Did you even wash this? Because it really stinks." And then I give that same laundry the biggest sniff I can muster and -- nothing. I smell nothing. Is it a physical defect, or just a psychological defense mechanism? One has to wonder.
I think research has been done that finds a correlation between aging and smell. One goes up, the other goes down. In my desperate attempt to deny aging, I must add another factor in there: parenthood. Show me a study on the effects of parenthood on the ability to smell; there HAS to be one! I did a little research of my own and came up with several causes for "smell disorders" (hyposmia or anosmia, as it were):
-upper respiratory infections
-exposure to chemicals
Well, I don't smoke and I don't have dental problems, so those two are ruled out. No head injuries or exposure to chemicals, either. Sure, I've had my share of URI's, but my husband has even MORE, and his sniffer works great, so that one's cancelled out. See, I told you I was onto something: the effects of parenthood.
Okay, now you say, "But your husband is a parent, too!" to which I say, "Yes, but he is a more effective parent than me." Meaning, he doesn't have to yell as much at the kids as I do, and I am around the kids about 50% more than him (make that 90% during football season). So I'm thinking that my Slacker Mom status greatly elevates my risk of decreased sniffing ability. Are you with me? Nod your head.
I will go so far as to say that being a Slacker Mom has not only dulled my sense of smell, it has dulled my sense of hearing. I have developed an immunity to 85% of the noise in my house. I filter out a lot of the yelling, whining, fighting, and complaining that goes on in a house full of kids. People call us on the phone and probably think they've called a bus station or rock concert, but it's just our kitchen. No worries.
So I'm not sure whether to complain or rejoice. Is this a blessing, or a curse? Choosing to remain positive, I will embrace the blessing in it. Thank you, God, that I cannot smell the dead mouse next to my treadmill in the basement. And thanks for talking with me in my head, just loud enough to drown out the sound of my noisy children. God bless them all." Amen!