Deborah's Story > Chapters > WORKING MY WAY BACK TO THE BEGINNING
Date Range: 10/01/2009 To 10/31/2009
Today is my birthday. I am now 56 years old. This year my birthday has fallen on the day that I was born. I am a Sunday child.
There is a day of the week poem that gives the traits of children born on each day.
Sunday's Child Is Full of Grace
Sunday's child is full of grace,
Monday's child is full in the face,
Tuesday's child is solemn and sad,
Wednesday's child is merry and glad,
Thursday's child is inclined to thieving,
Friday's child is free in giving,
And Saturday's child works hard for a living.
When I was growing up this poem would be recited to me often.
Now that I am old enough to understand what the different traits mean, I have often questioned am I full of grace?
My answer would have to be that I am fully surrounded by grace. Which I absorb like a sponge when it is sat in liquid.
I can remember sitting on the back porch of the row houses where our cousins lived talking about the 21st Century. It was me, Eleanor, Kathy (a family friend) and Marjorie (a deceased cousin). I was the youngest in the group. We were figuring out how old we would be when the year 2000 hit the calender. At the time I remember being about 10 years old. It blew me away when they did the math and I learned that I would be 47 years old. At that time that was old in my minds eye. Those three would all be in their early fifties. Which blew their minds as well. We spend a long time talking about how we thought this society would be in this century. A lot of our ideas were formed around the sci-fi images of that decade.
Three of us lived to see the 21st Century arrive. Marjorie passed on the same day that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in Memphis. I didn't realize that 40 years had passed since she was laid to rest.
I have to laugh about the imagery that we had about aging. I was so sure that I would be on my way to being a little old lady who moved along with a cane and white hair. Ha! it seems funny as heck now-especially when I consider that I walk five miles a day, I have taken aerobics, kick boxing and work out frequently. That is not the imagery that was presented to us during our youth. The older women around us we white haired and oh so capable of taking care of their needs, households and others. But at the time, we just saw them as old folks who were still in our midst.
People often tell me that I do not look my age or I don't act as old as I am. In reality, that is not true from my perspective. I am feeling the aches that come with being housed in a maturing body. I can now look back and see how much time my life span has covered. There are events, moments and people that have come and gone in my time.
There are years when it seems like the months move slowly. Lately it seems like the calender year just flies by. I look at my parents and give thanks to God for blessing them to be with me for just one more year. I think about the family and friends that are already at home with our Lord and I know that one of the days on the calender will be marked for me to make the same journey. I am not ready to do so just yet. But, we know that no one except God knows the moment or the hour.
I look at the three of you and still realize that you are the best of my works in life. I cannot think of anything that I have done that surpasses you. I look at your children now and realize that we are a different family now. Which is fine because that is how it is meant to be in God's plan for our lives.
Every year I take time to reflect on how I have been living my life. This year has been rough on my psyche. I am not content with my new job. It pays the bills but I am not feeling the satisfaction that teaching usually brings to me. I am also not happy about taking a decrease in pay. I am making it but I am not content. That concerns me more than I may ever let on to you. I am working on finding a new position even if it is a non-teaching position. While folks will tell you that money is not everything-it is important to feel that your labor is equally compensated. I firmly believe in this principle and I hope that it becomes one that you adapt in your professional lives.
I am sitting here having a cup of Maxwell House while I place my thoughts on this page. I am looking forward to spending the day with you and the wee people. I am also looking forward to us spending time with my parents. We are truly blessed not to have our circle of family broken.