Prologue: America is based on the principle of many things, rather extraordinary things, simultaneously happening that in way push forth a culture to its greatness. Hidden in each bit of this dream is a faith in a great number of things becoming succinct in clarity, dynamics, doable, and tangible. For many people there are dreams that can be made real and tangible, if allowed and not prohibited, freedoms allowed, liberties adjusted to a vital dream, a clear possibility if all realities are allowed to coexist, possibilities made and a living made, not just for the few, but for the many. America is based on a dream of liberty...
Ovelapping Chapter with Sedona
The Road Across America Westward Bound...2008/09
(Section Chapter-The Road Across-Christmas 2008-to Oroville California/Sedona Chapter Follows)
-I continue westbound on Christmas Eve 2008 now on the 1-10 highway west toward Phoenix-
-Lordsburg New Mexico-
(Interim stop for repairs)
(December 27 2008)
I hadnt made a sustained trip to Tucson for a number of years. The road through brought me here again for a one day stay as auto repairs for my trip towards California were pending-
I had little feeling for the town where I grew up. Is this a good thing? Old memories are pending at every stop as I disconnect the trailer and put another tire on, take another mechanics look at the engine and drive around a bit. Too many memories from long ago here. It seems challenging to want to stay, yet I think of a week reprieve from the road along these lines. I make some phone calls to old friends, feeling a sense of guilt that I didnt keep in touch, yet a rather cold sensation that I should quickly by-pass Tucson and head on my way since the past is the past, and returns to old places seema step back.
Road Jan 28 2008Mechanical problems again make it a one day trip reaching Piccaco Peak this evening and a truck stop for more repairs along the journey. California is waiting after the 1st of the year I have about five days or a week to play with the schedual.
(New Years 2009)
-Section to Add-
-A Hard story of the Road Across-
-Westward North Route-
One days waiting-camping- to facilitate/receive my mail from New York Manager-Agent in anticipation of a new grant release. Instead I get the hard message from my investment firm that the AIG Funds (Invested in Mortgages) which were keeping me going were playing out quickly-
-Watching in the next week as my retirement funds dried and sunk from a very good retirement possibility to almost nothing (one of the most careful, so-called safe investments)-
Journal:On this day I could have cried...no. I felt the setting all around me sink from glorious highs of possibilities for the future to new sunken in lows...I watched it all go away. Another letter had me stirring on Europe again, and another written me via Post Italia which was offering me 4 exhibition opportunities and a big big, life changing possibility, something started in 2006 and analogous with my offer of citizenship in Italy...
This all came to a sudden and abrupt halt however on that day of the AIG failure. It was all over the news, and I was one among many...yet I went on, somehow knowing that things would be ‘safe’ in the final analysis, fear itself showing its mongrel, glowing teeth my direction, with no other ear than me to listen, as a tear past down my cheek.
Arrived at my final destination in Oroville California Jan 10 2009Journal:
This has been a tough road with lots of asphalt, and lots of sadness for me personally.
I hardly recognize California at this point, its been a number of years since I have traveled this way on these stretches of road. In 1967,1972, 1977 and in the 80’s I was up here on these same roads north of Sacramento traveling into Marysville and Oroville. Its not like I needed a map, only short directions from gas stations. I passed through Sacramento at night to avoid day traffic. My trailer is slow, gas expensive and I am happy to reach my final destination as well as a final reprieve from the road for -- Good. Im accepting, the offramp and the conclusion of this long and expensive tour here. According to my resources here there is ample work as an arts teacher and resident artist for as long as needed...
There is a pit in my stomach, however, when I reach the off-ramp into Oroville.
Is this just nerves from being fatigued from the road?
Im testing to see that it is..perhaps just nerves and feelings of relocation to a new place.
My phone goes dead. (service area issue)
I pull into a service station for gas and find myself filling the tank.
That this is a nice comfortable looking town is obvious during the first hours of my stay.
I break out and buy a new phone--pay/ no contract phone for the area-
It dosnt work. I return it spending a little more but need to settle in to program the set.
Home in Oroville CA
Sometimes gut feelings and events tread a way into our purpose...I came into oroville not having a telephone, the contract I had for the car-phone not doable in the vicinity due to an area blackout. During the first hours after arrival I was utilizing the common payphone to trust in directions to get to my friends house and my new domain, apartment which was waiting for my arrival.
I was on schedual.
Staying at the Historic Lott house in Oroville California as an Artist Residence.
I pulled along the western side-street ajacent to the lot house upon my arrival, the motor heavy and hesitating.
Things had changed...
The city had changed...
And on top of this, my entire scheme thought out and agreed upon for an artist residency were foiled as the moneys from the city that were supposed to be approved..were not, leaving me in a stranded position.
The second week I grew nervous, as the situation grew wild and problematic.
I had a place to live for a month and a while...but I began to be shuttled around into other possibilities for living as sums dried up very quickly, being considered as solo resident of the Chinese Temple residence in Oroville as my studio...
Grants didnt come through however, shuttling me into another position and very quick decision making as to my stay in Oroville.
(Chapter) All around the vicinity hoping to find something gainful in replacement of the artist residency-
Town--Chico, Redding, Marysville
A telephone to relatives...
An Old Mans Tale (Story)
This is the story about leaving my materials in Oroville in a temporary situation to drive to San Francisco and visit relatives, somewhat on a cold call, since I was picking up no answer from the residence of my aunt/uncle who resided there. I had earmarked less than 200 dollars for San Francisco and return- My phone was again not working and problems of those magnitudes had me unsettled in many ways, almost as if some ‘enegy’ was pulling my planned trip apart bit by bit.
I pulled into a small town near the interstate into San Francisco. Again I was experiencing auto troubles which were noisy rather than mechanically troublesome.
It began to rain in sheets at this road side cafe where I stopped for coffee.
An old man appeared and sat down.
He began asking where I was traveling from and where I was going to and out of some mystery seemed to know the problems which I was facing.
“Go on with your life he said..expect little from others, make your own Road Across he exclaimed to me. I sat challenged to the long cold call trip into San Francisco as my car was being serviced, and the outcome another obstacle.
I turned back from my trip, to the feeling of a severe sense of emptiness...”That I may be trying to attempt to lean on others” Rather I took it into my own decision at this point-Reluctantly and steadfastly, that “This was my Road Across”
The old man consuled me.
The rain and storm parted and I was on my way back to Oroville---
The Cold Road
(Breaking with the present to possibilities)Decision to Break with California and head back to Texas--
“Had to go...” A miracle took place with a fair sum of money exchanged for artwork in the town hall parking lot of Oroville confirming the “Road Ahead”
Long Planning, A miracle-
The Road Across Begins Again
Overlapping Chapter with Sedona