Gina Pertonelli

  1984 -
  City of Birth:

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Gina's Story > Chapters > My Entire Life

"Losing My Religion" 


Date Range: 05/05/1984 To 08/04/2007   Comments: 5   Views: 12,431
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I don't know when it happened, but it did.

I lost my religion. And I don't mean it as a tricky euphamism for my virginity either!!!

I mean I lost any touch with any form of organized religion whatsoever.

I was born and raised a Protestant. We went to church regularly when I was a child, less as a teenager as my mom (single mom) picked up some weekend shifts and if she wasn't working on Sunday she would sleep, exhausted. I felt guilty for a while but then I stopped caring.

Sometimes I miss the ritual of going, being in a mass of people like sheep - reading, reciting, mind elsewhere, sneaking looks around at other people. The priest up there mumbling and singing badly.

After I lost my religion, for a while I missed it and decided to try something new so I went to the Unitarian Universalist's church. I liked it a lot. Kind of hippy-ish, a bit free spirited. Not afraid to consider alternatives like parallel universes and reincarnation.

Lately though I've just felt like not thinking about any afterlife and just considering this one I'm in now. It's hard enough sometimes to live without thinking that every single decision I make is going to have the butterfly effect. I just want to live.

Sometimes I miss God, but I don't know that it's the God I met in church when I was little that I miss. Something is out there, but not sure what it is.

I did go on a rampage for a while where I hated the male dominated churches and their subjugation of women, gays, anything not male (and normally white) mainly. But I'm kind o fover that anger now too. People are pretty sheep-like in their behaviour but overall I think they just want HOPE. Hope to cling to, that this life means something and that there is an extension, especially for those who get short-shrifted.

God if you're listening to this, send me a sign!!! Just kidding. Tell my Mother I said hello and that I miss her and I'm doing fine.


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Member Since
Dec 2007
Mariah Cebula said:
posted on Dec 15, 2007
lost religion

I definately empathise with your thinking, I have deeply rooted problems with organized religion, but do not want to give up on the idea of "faith" I enjoy your writing and look forward to perrusing more in the future...

Member Since
Aug 2007
Gina Pertonelli said:
posted on Dec 19, 2007

Nice picture too! :)

Member Since
May 2009
Matthew Stanford said:
posted on Nov 18, 2009
Interesting story

Like it .... never be a sheep

Member Since
Aug 2007
Gina Pertonelli said:
posted on Dec 04, 2009
oooooo Mathew

Expand upon that... please. You cannot make a statement and walk away - spill your guts!! lol

Member Since
Nov 2009
nicky andy said:
posted on Jan 28, 2010

I love the way u express ur self i personally think u know God cause of the way u think and ur strength u have that same voice that compels u to be strong and positive that is God lol in u that forging love be u now express for ur mom that is God in u if u read the bible it will confirm that God truly in u, u are a special person really