I was sick today (cough cough) and just chilling my pad waiting on Jacques to bring me pizza and cough syrup so I'm watching TV and the doorbell rings. I think it's him so I drag my sorryass to the door and look out. Looking back at me is this young dude, maybe my age maybe a little younger, wearing a suit and tie and carrying a book. Crap, I think, he's probably selling dopey overpriced magazines for his baseball team. See, I can't say no to them. I always buy something cuz man I feel bad. Gotta suck going door to door with probably 90% of peeps being rude and telling you to f-off and slamming doors in your face when man all you wanna do is to get your little las vegas trip...
Anyway, I am about to pretend I'm not home (it's the middle of the afternoon, normally I'd be at work) but then I see Jacques coming with my pizza. Dammit! He's got a shit-eating grin on his face cuz' he sees what's going down and I watch him practically run up to the door.
he nods at the kid, "Yo, wassup."
the kid nods back, "Oh, just seeing if anyone is home."
jacques, "oh, he's home alright. he's "sick" if you get my drift."
the kid nods and I open the door, totally jerked off.
Jacques pushes in and throws the door wide open and goes to the fridge, pulls out a coke and as I'm standing there feeling like crap he smacks me on the back of the head and says "don't ignore your guest man, that's rude."
I look at the kid in the tie and go over. Jacques burps in my ear on the way out and I call out a sorry-lame 'thanks' to his back. he gives me the finger and off he goes.
I eye my pizza. The kid eyes my pizza. Man he look so pathetic standing there. He's on a mission, but everyone likes some 'za.
"you want somma this?"
he looks around all nervous like and nods.
"well, get in!" i edge behind him and shut the door while he's looking over his shoulder. I can hear his brain wheels turning and dude's probably thinking "oh no sweet mother of God this is one of those HOOLIGANS they warned me about. Should I run? Is he gonna sodomize and fillet my skin?"
come on, guy is recruiting. I just want to have a little fun, and a little company.
Turns out his name is Joshua and he's a really nice kid - 17. Just graduated from high school and his doing his mission with the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (say that 10 times with peanut butter in your mouth).
So he's telling me about his life and I tell him about mine. Pretty much opposites I'd say. He has to recruit a set number of folks to the church. I ask him how he picks people (uh, like ME??? wtf) and he won't tell me how many he has to "get" but did tell me that he has most luck with housewives who stay at home and feel they've lost something in their lives. I can imagine staying home with screaming babies would make me wanna reach for for something too.... probably a bottle though.
I do a wink wink nudge nudge - lonely desperate housewives eh? and he gives a big laugh but his eyes are huge man like saucers. her tells me about their parties and their "rules" culturally speaking, the LDS people are a close knit group with strong ideas about what is important in a young person's life. he explains how good LDS young people are strongly encouraged to marry in the temple, which is another part of the LDS culture that only two people in good standing with the LDS Church, etc...are able to do.
Anyway, he's a downright nice kid. I kinda feel sorry for him in some ways but in others maybe i'm a little jealous. He seems so SURE about his life and what he'll do. Me, I have no idea. It's be nice sometimes to just know, even if it's TOLD to you by other people.
Whatever, he didn't convert me or anything but he wasn't a nut job either - just a nice kid. I had a good chat with him; learned a lot. Just hope he doesn't come back with the calvary. Nothing against any church. just still kinda`freaks me out to look out the window and seeing a kid standing there ready to wage war on satan for my soul.....