My friend called me on the way to work and asked me to bring in some jelly donuts. Dude is addicted.

I am waiting in line and all of a suddent this very large woman comes up behind me and practically screams in my ear  I WAS HERE FIRST!

huh? wtf? I think I would have noticed.

She is breathing down my neck and smells really sour. I ignore her and start telling the asian guy who owns the place my order. All of a sudden I'm bent over the counter, face to face (or face to belly) with the owner. The woman behind me slammed into me.

I was shocked, but I didn't really feel like starting anything. So I put some money on the table and walked out to my car.

Two seconds later she's right behind me. I had just started to put a delicious jelly donut in my mouth when she smacked the donut out of my hand and it flew and splatted on my windshield.

She starts laughing hysterically. Now I'm getting pissed so I start to gauge if she attacks me how I'm goign to hurt her. Screw her being a woman, serious, she outweighed me by a 100 pounds, no joke, and had a good three inches on me.

All of a sudden this huge biker, hell's angel type, gets out of a truck parked a couple of parking spots over. He is laughing too, and starts coming at me. Seriously man, W.T.F.??!??!

So I did waht I had to do. I opened the box of jelly donuts and flung them at the both of them. Have to say my aim was pretty good too. The Asian guy comes running out yelling he's going to call the cops and get out of here now blah blah.

While those two psychos are picking jelly and dough and powdered sugar out of their hair I get in my car and haul it out of there. No delicious jelly donuts for the office today.