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Jill's Story > Categories > Humor

"Please Wear Your Dignity When You Shop" 


Date Range: 01/02/2011 To 01/02/2011   Comments: 1   Views: 7,457
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Something is missing from the doors of our local retail and grocery stores. A message in large black letters on fluorescent orange or pink poster board should be posted in plain sight for every potential customer to read before one toe crosses the threshold.

Please dress like respectable adults when visiting our store.

Leave the lounge pants and pajama bottoms at home.

Outdoor footwear required. No slippers, please.

And pull up your damn pants.


For a short time last year, I worked in a small convenience store on the weekends. I saw everything from excessive cleavage (not always upper body) to teenagers walking like they just got off horses, in an effort to keep their pants from dropping to the floor. Lounge pants and pajama bottoms walked in and out on a regular basis. One man even showed up decked out in a full set of blue satin top and bottoms. If memory serves, a ragged pair of dark gray slippers pulled everything together.

Many shoppers in my area can be seen at Wal-Mart, donning plaid flannel lounge pants. Perhaps they ran out of laundry detergent and the only available pants sported a sea of multi-color jalapeno peppers or a galaxy of stars peppering a dark blue universe. Sports fans are easy to spot as well. Their futile attempts to camouflage pajama pants by wearing a coordinating team sweatshirt and ball cap fool no one. If you can use the time and energy it takes to go to a store, why not take an extra minute to change your pants? Chances are you've already dropped a glob of onion dip on your lap watching the game.

Certain circumstances may require a hasty exit from home, not allowing time for a change of clothing. Medical emergencies, fires, midnight cravings, a visit from the in-laws and a few other exceptions are acceptable reasons. Most people can discern the difference, while others continue to shamelessly visually assault us.

Restaurants have been reminding people for years to wear shoes and shirts if service is expected inside the establishments. It seems good common sense would prevail before a reminder becomes necessary. I think I can speak for the majority when I say that the sight of an overweight middle-aged man with back fur eating at the table next to mine in a family steak house is a serious appetite suppressant. I guess it depends on your level of hunger at the time.

A little pride in one's appearance goes a long way. So show off those new jeans! Wear those Birkenstocks without socks! Walk with pride among the other adult shoppers, knowing your favorite flannel Daffy Duck pants await you at home.

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Member Since
May 2008
Charisma R said:
posted on Feb 28, 2011

You are hilarious! I can't stop laughing! I love it!!!!!!