Kristen S Kuhns [ksk]

  City of Birth:
Worthington, Ohio

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I am adding this additional chapter to my introduction, because after I initially wrote the introduction, it was very difficult to come back to it and try to make sense of all that I have experienced through the various stages of my life and the trials that I have endured or overcome.  I wish ...


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Kristen's Story > Categories > Friends & other Crazy People

"(repost) Vow To My Animals " 


Date Range: 05/16/1912 To 12/31/2009   Comments: 1   Views: 9,321
Attachments: No

Hope she doesn't kick my butt, but I simply HAD to repost this. Everything I think and so much more...

Vow To My Animals

Dear Animal of Mine,

today I have found you, whether on the street, from a rescue or shelter, or (don't tell anyone) a breeder. Today I have made the choice to make you a part of my family. I want to promise you the following:

1. I will never leave you. If I move, you're coming with me. Even if I lost my home, I'd rather be homeless on the street with you than in housing without you. If I go overseas, I'll do everything I can to get you a 'pet passport' so you don't have to sit in quarantine, and even if you, I'll visit you every day. If I move, I won't even look at housing that isn't pet-friendly. If a landlord or an HOA tells me I can't have you there, I will tell him, her, or them to kiss my Irish ass and I'll take my money somewhere where your status as family member is appreciated.

2. I will feed you decent quality food so that your organs don't deteriorate from all that crap they put in cheap stuff. If I'm really good, I'll even cook for you.

3. I will take you to the vet regularly, even if I have to go without to do so. If you get sick, I'll sell my writing/labor/household goods/plasma/sperm-ova/internal organs to scrape up the money to heal you. And yes, that includes stooping to selling drugs, my ass, or multi-level marketing, too.

4. When you are old and you aren't as spunky/healthy/chipper as you used to be, I won't dump you at a shelter/park/field. I will grow old right beside you, and I will clean up your puke/poop/pee. However, if you are too sick to enjoy life any more, I will get over my own selfishness and walk you into the next life in a peaceful, humane, ultimately gentle way - and I won't walk away and let the vet do the dirty business; I'll hold you in my arms until you drift off.

5. I will never hit you, shake you, toss you, confine you, chain you, scream at you, or make you the misplaced target of my rage.

6. I will never leave you alone overnight. You will always have a sitter to check on you if I have to leave home for a bit.

7. I will never make you sleep outside or let you spend your days anywhere that isn't warm, dry, safe, and loving.

8. I will never mistake you for a fashion statement, symbol of prestige, substitute child, or whipping post.

9. I will socialize you early and often so that you don't end up the Unabomber of the dog (or insert other species here) world. I will take you out to PLAY, and run, and make friends.

10. I will never tie you up outside a store.

11. If I ever have children, I will not get rid of you. My spawn will just think of you as a short, furry brother or sister with a speech impediment.

12. If any of my friends or relatives express dislike for you, they'llgo immediately into the 'infrequent rotation' pile. And if a person doesn't like animals in general, well, I just don't trust 'em.

13. Whatever trauma you suffered before I found you, I'll work every day to help you forget it. I hope that someday you won't remember anything except being loved.

14. I will stand up for your species and call out a fool I see mistreating one of your compadres. 

15. If I meet a man/woman who is Mr./Ms. Right but he or she is allergic/doesn't like animals, I'll politely ask him or her to commit to a lifetime of allergy meds or move it into the Friend Zone, stat.

16. I will see you in heaven, provided I get there. 

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Member Since
Aug 2007
Brian Childers said:
posted on Jan 27, 2011

Esp the last one