Claire Kirkham

  City of Birth:

Claire's Story

My Entire Life
Primary school (2005-2011)
Nursery (2000-2003)
Being born (1997-2000)
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Claire's Story > Chapters > Nursery

"Smile, embrace having no friends" 


Date Range: 09/03/2000 To 09/01/2003   Comments: 0   Views: 194
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First day of nursery. really should of thought this one though. 

Lesson one: may seem stupid, dont let your kid go to nursery with a dummy/pacifer.

no, I'm serious, DONT.

Imagine a little girl. hair in pigtails, holding a teddy in fright. now imagine her with a dummy in her mouth. that was a death sentance for me. 2 years old. woop woop.

kids didnt really talk to me after that. ecspecially after the seemingly loud convosation of the teacher not trusting my potty training skills and thought id take a dump in my pastel pink nickers on the very first day. and the obvious mother going though her bag and passing over a package of pastel pink toddler underwear, you know, JUST IN CASE.

i NEVER wet myself. nor did i take any toilet breaks on myself. i used the potty like a NORMAL child.

so yeah, lesson two, don't do that. may seem stupid, but that assures the next 2-3 years of your child's loneliness. 

Lesson 3: kinda helps if you talk. and don't be a little bitch when you do.

i got taught what sarcasm was. aha, yeah, never teach your kid sarcasm. i was really sociably awkward, would spend all day wandering round on my own, reading, or staring into space. the teachers adored me, as i wasn't screaming or beating up the other children. they never understood how much i wanted to.

when i child talked to me, they were met with crude remarks, sarcasm, and an eventual pissed off look till they went away. go 3 year old me! yeah really helps if you scar your child with the "make friends" remark until they eventually, you know, make friends.

so yeah, i went though the same thing day in day out, learn, play, go home, tv and food till bed. rock and roll life of little me. still loved by my brother, ignored by my sister to an extent, loves by dad, life was ok, i was still happy even if i didn't have any friends. i was even classed as a quick learner and very smart for my age.

yeah, that class never helped me thoughout my life

bring on primary

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