I must apologize up front for not naming names in this story. I wasn’t even there. I cannot authenticate the veracity of the facts. But it’s funny in a twisted but “hey that’s life, what can you do” kind of way…

I have a friend who has a precocious four year old. This kid is CUTE - as in girls are already chasing him, all the women want to squeeze his cheeks, and he could probably literally get away with murder because he’s so damned cute.

And he knows it. He hasn’t learned quite how to manipulate it yet, but he probably will. He already is sensing that this thing called “life” is easier for attractive people. His parents dote on him, but it’s (and I feel for them on this) difficult to punish a kid who’s sooooooo cute. He has creamy, honey colored skin, a big head of soft curls, huge doe eyes with eyelashes that any woman would pay thousands of dollars to surgically reproduce.

He learned how to swim at our house. At first he was really frightened of the water, but as soon as he was taught how to do the ‘cannonball’ I swear he did them for four hours straight. Run. Jump. SPLASH. Laugh hysterically. Repeat.

One day his mom took him shopping in a store and he complained that he had to go potty. His mama told him he just went and he was as big boy so he should hold it.

He didn’t like that, so he pooped in his pants and jumped around to get it out, causing it to fall onto the floor.

My friend was so mortified and he started crying and she couldn't find anything to clean it up with so she honestly just panicked, dragged him out and they left the store quickly, leaving a little present for some startled customer or employee to discover.