on the way to Monster Burger....
So right we're eating our lunch from work and this woman comes in she's frazzled and looks beat and is dragging two kids behind her, I guess a girl about 7 and a younger boy.
This mom was clearly struggling with these kids and they looked like a handful. I almost felt bad (but hey she decided to have them!) jeebus. Anyway she sits them down in the table next to us and tells them to behave and goes and orders food and comes back. The place is full as it's lunch.
We're just eating our food man and all of a sudden the most rank smell is everywhere, you can't escape it! Sick, totally sick. I almost gag. She looks at the little girl and asks if she had an accident in her pants and the girl shakes her head and says "No mama." The mom grabs her and checks her pants and then turns to the boy. "Timmy, do you have to go potty? Tell mommy now, did you have a spill in your pants?" (a spill? More like an explosion of mt everest, sick!)
The kid starts jumping up and down and yelling at the top of his little lungs "No Mommy! I don't hafta go to the potty! I'm clean!" and then (swear to god) he pulls down his pants, bends over, grabs his butt cheeks and spreads them and says "See? It's dog farts just like Daddy does!" and lets one rip right there!
I almost spit out my hambureger and can't keep from laughing. She's totally mortified and the kid just plops back down (pants only halfway pulled up) and starts eating like nothing happened. Te rest of the place is laughing but trying not to embarass her.
As she sits there, not looking at anyone, some old dude walks by and says to the little boy, "It's ok kiddo, happens to me too." The woman can't tell whether she's grateful or wants to punch him but at least the farts stopped so we could enjoy our food!