I used to go out with this girl named Caroline who loved dogs. I mean loved dogs. Even more than *some* people on this site do.
She would baby - er, dogsit - anyone's dogs (for free!) Neighbors, school friends, family, whoever. Just drop 'em off, pick 'em up when back. She never asked questions, just happily accepted the dogs into her house. Dogs only though, no cats or other fur or winged creatures.
I like dogs a lot too, but this arrangement was insane! Many a time an advantage taking sycophant would drop off a boxer, a golden retriever, a shihtzu, a doberman, busting up our plans while she "initiated" the newcomer to whatever else dog(s) were there. She was pretty cool though - the dogs always knew who was boss (Caroline) or head of the pack and amazingly most of the time the dogs got along.
One time one of her neighbors dropped off 3 daschunds - little fat sausage dogs - and mumbled something about going on vacation and the dog sitter not showing up and COULD she WOULD she help out and OH THANK GOD thank you we so owe you you are a lifesaver.... Bubbles wants her foot cut up and Bitty gets one pill after dinner and one in the morning and Bootie has to go out or he'll pee all over the floor....
Movie's out the window. We've got 3 little munchkins to look at. I watch Caroline start her process. It was interesting at first but I know our plans are done so I go in the other room to watch TV.
I sit down to settle in, and before I can flip through the channels all of a sudden I am in a tornado of yapping, biting, snarling dogs. They are attacking my ankles, biting and they are NOT playing. WTF? When did these little sausages become hounds from hell?
The barking was high pitched and I swear was about to pop my eardrums. Then the dogs started fighting each other and just looked like this ball of insane fur and paws and black tails and screaming.
I am just staring at these psycho dogs, easing my hand down to see if any skin's been broken (no blood but they tore through my jeans).
All of a sudden Caroline is there standing in them (she put her FOOT inside that mess??) and whistles really loud and stands still. Miraculously, the dogs calm down. They stop fighting and separate into a triangle, licking their lips and eyeing each other, but not fighting. TWo of them (Bitty? Bootie? they look the same) start in a eye staring contest and Caroline squats down and snaps her fingers to one of them, who looks away. The other one then puts its head down and walks away. Calm in the house....
Two hours later we are watching TV with 3 peaceful, loving dogs flopped all over us.