Gina Pertonelli

  1984 -
  City of Birth:
Toronto
 
 

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It Has Been A Rough Year

I am adding this additional chapter to my introduction, because after I initially wrote the introduction, it was very difficult to come back to it and try to make sense of all that I have experienced through the various stages of my life and the trials that I have endured or overcome.  I wish ...


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The Birth of Charles Leonard Wiggins

The story has already been written for awhile on my blog "From the heart of Praise, Prayer and Perseverance. 0; Here is a link to that posting, Below are the pictures of the blessed event.   http://fromthehea rt-dotwigg.blogsp ot.com/2008/03/an other-2-prayer-re quest-answered.ht ml


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Gina's Story > Categories > My Mother

"My Father" 

 

Date Range: 1985 To 2007   Comments: 3   Views: 13,344
Attachments: No
 

I don't know my Father. I have some vague memories of him when I was a little girl. Mostly my parents fighting.

I told YOU to pick her up!
You did NOT! You said you would pick her up!
No it's YOUR turn!

Geez parents, if I could walk home myself I would but don't act like I'm your burden. You brought me here, now do your duty. Oh, and I can HEAR you takling about me like the dog you forgot to walk.

My mom was a raging alcoholic and drove my father away. He walked out during a particularly nasty fight when I was maybe five. He moved to Florida and would send me cards on my birthday (or a few days late but who was counting?). Some years he'd remember to call. Awkward, uncomfortable conversations. He had an new family and a new set of problems.

My father was a general contractor. I say was because he was building a house one day and drove a nail into a live wire and was electrocuted. This was when I was 17. I think it pushed my mom over the edge (she had been teetering there for a long time). She'd never gotten over him, although she never talked about him.

I know that he hurt her. I know that she was bitter at her life and how hard she struggled with her own demons. But one thing I can't quite forgive her for is not telling me WHO my daddy was. What kind of person was he? Did he like vanilla bean ice cream like I do? Did I get my hands from him? My love of architecture? Did he ever think of me when tucking in his new kids? Did he help pay for my braces?

I just wish I knew the man. I suppose I could reach out to his other family, but I've never talked to them - ever. Sometimes I wonder if they even know I exist. It'd be nice to have a brother and a sister, but some inertia keeps me from seeking them out. I don't want to hear the guilt or the forced effort. So I don't try.

I never really knew what a real family was until I met Tomas. His family is from Poland and they are very close. Their parents have been together for a long time and they have a lot of cousins, and a lot of laughter in that house.

If I ever have kids I promise them I will be more like Jodie on here who didn't have an ideal childhood either but loves her children and doubly makes up for what she didn't have.

Tomas, when I'm ready, will you ask me to marry you? We've got a lot of time but i want to be first in line. I can't imagine my life without you. You've shown me a world I would never have known. Thank you.



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Member Since
Dec 2007
Jodie Andrefski said:
posted on May 28, 2008
you will make...

a wonderful mother someday. I can see your heart...and it's a big one. I'm so sorry that you never really knew your dad...that has to just leave questions and wonderings somewhere inside sometime. Does he have any family other than his "other" family that maybe you could talk to and learn more about him? Believe in you...and the love and laughter you deserve and will have....no matter what.


Member Since
Feb 2008
Rich Huffstutler said:
posted on May 30, 2008
Loved your story

We seem to have a lot in common, I really loved how you wrote from the heart. I really enjoyed it. I too never really knew my father..but for different reasons..yet i too had the same questions. Great writting.. I f you get a chance please read my story..i think you will enjoy it.


Member Since
Aug 2007
Gina Pertonelli said:
posted on Jun 01, 2008
Thanks Jodie & Rich

I don't like to think about it much. Writing helps me vent :) I did read your stories Rich. You've had quite a life. I hope you write more stories (in addition to your poems) too so we can learn more.....