What the hell is that poking me? I thought is was a stick, I really did.  "A", whats that?  I ask.. "nuttin". I continue watching tv. "Move back on the bed" "why"? I ask... Just move the fuck back! He yelled. Now my heart starts to pound! Did he just curse at me? I start to turn around and my hair is pulled .What the...Before I know it I'm flipped on my back and my cousin is on top of me spreading my legs. OH>>>>MY>>>GOD! I mustered up enough strength to damn near kick his ass off of me! I almost made it off the bed but he grabbed me again by my hair, this time tighter. That shit hurt, my hair was nappy as hell back then and hardly combed. For the second time in my life actually heard my heart beat thru my chest until then. I actually heard my heart, not felt it , heard it. Adrenalin must have been surging like a mutha f'ker. All the while I kept wondering to myself what in the hell his black ass was tryin to do. I knew nothing about sex but I knew a naked person meant something bad. He grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, I thought my arm would come out of its socket. Now I was pinned, all I could do is say stop and what are you doing? He kept insisting that I knew what was going on. But I didn't. I felt him pulling off my underwear and I rememberd being embarrassed beyond belief. The fear was there but I was soooo embarrassed. He got on top of me and started to try to insert himself. I couldn't breathe, I just couldn't breathe. The stabbing pain was unbearable,I cried and cried and begged for him to stop but he wouldn't. It seemed as though all my strength was seeping out of my body and things began to go in slow motion. Finally just when I thought it was over he flipped me over and entered from behind. THAT pain cannot be measured by anything made by human hands. Am I going to die? Yes I am....God make it quick, I wanna go to heaven. Stop! Stop! He gets up, leaves the room and I hear water running. I try to move but can't. My right foot feels funny, my stomach, back 
and head hurt like hell. Did he leave? I don't hear anything. I can't breathe thru my nose, it's all stuffed up. Somebody help me, where's my sister? Oh she's at Grandma's house. Is someone there? OH no it's him again. "Get up and use the bathroom"! "I can't". Just leave me alone.....please. "Get up and go to the bathroom"! I'm crying and crying. A slap hard on my face....he's squeezing my face trying to put himself in my mouth. I clench my teeth real hard, he squeezes harder and I feel a POP! Throbbing pain now racks my jaw...it's dislocated. I don't know that yet but thats what happened. After all that don't you know that bastard still put himself in my mouth? Yes that f'ker did. I threw up until there was nothin else to throw up but stomach acid. My throat was raw. With a couple of threats and warnings he was out the door. I layed there for hours I believe. I peed on myself and the burning sensation from the urine damn near made me hit the ceiling. When is my Mother coming back? Do I hear singing? Maybe the angels are coming to get me. I wonder what they look like. I'm naked I need to cover myself before they get here. My Mother is going to be real mad because I'm in her room in her bed. Maybe I should try to get to my room. Ow! I can't move. Whats wrong with my foot, or is it my toe? Why is my ear  ringing? I hear someone, OH God its him again! Yvonne! Yvonne! Why are all the lights off? I hear my mother asking someone. She enters her room and turn on the lights. They hurt my eyes. How long had I been laying there? "What ...the....fuck"! She rushes over to the bed, looks at me in disbelief.....covers me. I hear someone else in the hallway, I began to cry. My mother does love me, she's going to kill that black bastard (he looks worse than flavor flav) ! She goes into my room and gets some clothes. She comes back with  a friend of hers. Her friend starts to cry and scream "who did that to her"? "who did that to her"?!  I try to talk but my fucking face is killing me. My mother asked me if "A" did this to me and I shake my head yes. She tells me that we gotta go get my lil sister. What? I know she's about to call the ambulance and the cops. She leaves the room and returns with a towel and some washcloths. The washcloths are wet, she begans wiping me from head to toe. I am in so much pain. Theres dried blood everywhere. Whats that smell? She asks me if I shitted on myself, I say no, she says yes you did with a look of disgust on her face. She sits me up while I 'm screaming in pain. Shut the f up! Let's go and you better not tell Ma (my Grandmother) that "A" babysat you. Huh? How come she doesn't want anyone to know what the f'ker did? We're headed for the door, I can barely walk. Her friend is helping me, I think her name is Joyce. She looks  at me with sad eyes. I think she wants to help me but she's afraid of my Mother. I'll tell my Grandmother when we get to her house, she'll help me. I know she will.