I hate you. I hate the fact that you make everything ok. I hate it when you understand how I feel and don't have to put it into words. I hate how smart you are. How you have changed your world and are a better person for it. I hate when you laugh with a little snort. I hate it when I feel better after talking to you. I hate when I remember what it felt like when I heard your welcoming voice on the phone. I hate how you know the exact words to say to me. Without effort you say the perfect words. I hate you. I hate the fact that you love me unconditionally even after I hurt you or made you angry. I hate how you've forgiven me even when I know I can't take anything back. The hurtful words that are out there in the air. I hate you for making me excited to talk to you again and wanting more. I hate the anxiety I feel when I think about you. Or is that excitement? The rush in my heart? I hate how we can pick up where we left off. How I helped you without knowing how I did it and now how you are helping me by just listening. I hate that I don't want to end the call. I hate how I want to hear over and over again how you love me. As a friend. I hate that I missed out on so much with the time lost. I hate how weak I am when it comes to you. I hate how I can't hug you right now.