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It Has Been A Rough Year

I am adding this additional chapter to my introduction, because after I initially wrote the introduction, it was very difficult to come back to it and try to make sense of all that I have experienced through the various stages of my life and the trials that I have endured or overcome.  I wish ...


The Birth of Charles Leonard Wiggins

The story has already been written for awhile on my blog "From the heart of Praise, Prayer and Perseverance. 0; Here is a link to that posting, Below are the pictures of the blessed event.   http://fromthehea rt-dotwigg.blogsp ot.com/2008/03/an other-2-prayer-re quest-answered.ht ml


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Date Range: 09/05/1980 To 07/06/1987   Comments: 2   Views: 14,846
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I was free for one whole month! The lunatic seemed to back off. Whew!  I was so tired of getting whip-lash everytime I thought I heard a voice calling me that sounded like his. LOL! I started going out on daily "excursions" (the suv I want) with my friends again. Can yall believe that they thought I was crazy for breaking up with that fool? I told them everything! I told them about how he once twisted my arm so hard and high up behind my back that I was on my toes like the lead ballerina in the Nutcracker on Broadway. I thought my arm was going to come out of its socket! All this because I was looking out the window. I wasn't even looking at anything! The only view from his window was Crotona Park. Maybe he thought I was sending SOS messages to the squirrels. With all the info I gave them about his crazy ass they still thought I was cazy for leaving him because "he bought me everything I wanted". Oh well. Anyway, my friends and I started going all over town again. I didn't really talk to any guys because for some weird reason I always thought the
"lunatic" would be around. I always had that feeling of being watched. I couldn't shake it for shit. One evening my Mother showed up at my Grandmothers house looking healthy and seemingly nice, she told us about a party on the Circle Line ( a boat)in Manhattan and wanted my sister and myself to go. My sister begged me to go and so we did. I thought that would be a good change of scenery and I could just breathe and think while on the water. I got my curling iron out, shirley templed the shit out of my long hair, put on some heavy ass eyeliner like the Egyptians used to wear and wore my leopard print blouse with some skin tight spandex and some killer heels. I looked gooooood as helllllll! We took the train  downtown that night to get on the boat. It was a nice crowd out and the weather was perrrrrrrrrfect. You could even see some stars in the night sky. My Mother had some friends of hers there and of course "don't call me Mommy" was the game plan. Here the hell we go again. She just never stops. I walked around the boat for a while trying to see who was on it. Everyone was older than us. I went to the top deck and watched as the boat began to pull away, HOLY SHIT! Guess who I see standing there watching us pull away? Yes, the mutha f'king lunatic! I wanted to turn into a puff of smoke!No wait aminute that couldn't be him, is it? I 'm squinting the shit outta my eyes trying to make them (my eyes) see someone else. Pleeeeease let that be someone else. Wait, where did he go? Maybe I'm just hallucinating. God let me be hallucinating! The boat pulls away and I run to my sister and tell her what I think I saw. She says "did you tell him you were coming here"? "Hell no" was my response. How could he have known where I was. My mind started racing , who could have told him where I was? Was it "Tee" or "Ree"? They wouldn't do that, I told them what he had done to me. Damn I don't need this shit! Thank God he didn't get on the boat he probably would have thrown me overboard or some shit. That lunatic was suicidal too. Did  I tell yall about the time he drank liquid bleach in front of me to prove his "undying" love to me? Or about the time he tried to hang himself on my terrace with a scarf made of yarn? I know he felt real stupid trying to hang himself, the damn scarf stretched and he landed right on his ass! Oh yeah , uh huh, he did all that shit! I know I shouldn't say this but after all that stress you get to a point where you don't even care anymore. Thats how I was. Whenever he started that "I'm gonna kill myself "bullshit I would just say "go ahead". I was just tired of his bullshit. I just wanted it to end. Now what the f'k was he up to? That boat ride lasted 5 hours. I couldn't even enjoy myself because all I could think about was him swimming up to the side of the boat like one of king Kongs natives and snatching me the hell off. I hated being nervous like that.( I remember feeling like that when I waited for the results of my HIV test, I worried for nothing). As the trip ended I scanned the dock like a digital camera. If you were standing next to me you would have heard my eyeballs zooming in and zooming out. Maybe I should call the cops, but I didn't see him. I know damn well he didn't wait 5hours til the boat came back. Then again we're talking about a crazy nigga. My Mother left with her friends and my sister and I headed for the trainstation. I was looking around like a submarine telescope. I didn't see him. Maybe I was seeing things. Nah, I got 20/20 vision, I saw his ass. As we entered the train station I prayed that we just made it home safe. We were on 42st in Manhattan, I wasn't scared of the weirdo's down there ,I was scared of that crazy ass bastard. We walked to our destination and waited for our train to arrive. I stood there waiting for the train when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I spun around and was eyeball to eyeball with my worst nightmare! Damn, damn, damn! His EYES looked crazy as hell! I KNEW I was in for some real shit. All I could do was try and act normal like nothing was wrong but then he started asking who I was with on the boat? and was the niggas dick bigger than his? and if I sucked the niggas dick? and so on and so on. There was nothing I could say to calm him down. He got louder and more irrate second by second. I started to walk away and then he grabbed me by the back of my neck! My sister immediately started crying. That was it ,all bets were off, I started punching that mutha f'ker as hard as I could! HE-DIDN'T-FEEL-SHIT! He wasn't even on drugs , he was crazy for no reason. We fought up and down Times Square (42nd st.)! People watched and did nothing. OOOOh I was so mad I just let my tongue flyyyyyyyyy! I should have kept it on lock down. I said some real f'd up shit to him and that was it. He picked me up and threw my ass on the tracks! Yes you read right. I was down there looking like a wet oil slicked duck. Wanna hear something funny? My first thought while I was sitting on them tracks was that my fucking shirley temple curls were messed up. Can yall believe that?  I was a damn mess back then! Who in their right mind would think about their hair when they are about to possibly be ran the f'k over by a train? ME! LOL! or I coulda reached out to get up and touched the third rail and fried my ass into a flavor flav crisp!  Things started going in slow motion after that and I couldn't see. I landed head first and blood gushed everywhere. It ran down my face fusing my eyelids closed. All I heard was my sister screaming and crying, him yelling he loved me and people screaming and telling me not to move. He was arrested and after I was dragged out of the tracks by complete strangers (thanks heroes, who ever you are) and I was taken to the hospital and given stitches to close the gaping hole in my head. Yall know I was mad because they had to shave my hair right? Only me. I was a teenager what do you expect? LOL! I came home from the hospital the next day and so you know I had to tell everything right? I let my family know it all, all my damn business was out. Guess what? They felt sorry for HIMMMMMM! Yes the f'k they did! They wanted to know which jail he was in and when his court date was. It was the weekend so he had to stay in there until that Monday. His mother had the nerve to be mad with me. What the "f" did I do? Has anyone looked at my Frankenstein head wrap? Don't  they see my fat ass lip? They don't see my swollen face? Come the f'k on this can't be happeniiiiiiing! My Grandmother was smitten with him because he went to church? My sister felt sorry for him because he was yelling that he loved me and couldn't live without me. Oh please! I damn near died and all they could do is say "give him another chance". WHAT? Another chance to what? Complete the job? Family can be your downfall, mine anyway. I had had it. In the midst of all of that going on my Aunt was going thru a divorce and asked if  wanted to move in with her to help her out with her 2 lil girls (my lil cousins). I immediately said yes! I packed my shit and left the same day. I had to get away. Guess who got out of jail and showed up at her door that Monday? To this day I never found out who told him where I was.     to be disgustingly continued............

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Member Since
Jan 2008
Suzan Kilner said:
posted on Aug 15, 2008
this was really hard to read

He was a maniac, a manipulator and a jerk. Those people are true abusers who know how to exploit weakness in others to compensate for their own. he's probably off doing the same exact thing to someone else, and he probably learned this behavior form someone else in his life who was doing it to another woman..... UGH

Member Since
Apr 2008
posted on Aug 16, 2008
suzan you might be right

i saw his ass on jerry springer one day, he had 2 women fighting over him, he's still an asshole!