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Help - My World ... (1980-1989)
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Grama's Story > Chapters > Help - My World is Disappearing

"Help! Everyone is Dying! " 


Date Range: 01/01/1980 To 12/31/1989   Comments: 7   Views: 21,277
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You probably remember 1980 for the year that Mt. Saint Helens erupts, killing 60 people or maybe it was the news that CNN is launched as the first all news network?  Or what about 1981?  That was the year Prince Charles and Diana Spencer marry on July 29, 1981.  (and my Mom had just been diagnosed with cancer.)
The 1980's became a decade of death and grief for me.  One by one death ravaged my family until I felt so sad and so alone I couldn't bear it any longer.  I became unaware of world events as my personal world began disappearing.

Here is what happened:

   1981 my Mom was diagnosed with cancer of her stomach and she went through a terrible surgery.  April 1982 at the age of 64 my Mom passed away.  It was a huge loss for me as she was so much more than my Mom she was my best friend too.

    Sept. 1983 my Grandfather died at the age of 97.  Our rock in the family - always there - now gone.

    July 1983 - My husband was diagnosed with cancer.  He had a large tumor on the adrenal gland and during surgery the tumor broke into many pieces and they could not flush it all out.
Dec. 1983 my husband died at the age of 47.  I miss him still.

Jan 1984 - I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer - was I next to go?  I thought so.

    August 1984 - My Uncle died from a stroke - he was 65 years old.

    August 1985 - My Aunt died from Colon cancer - she was 66 years old.

    April 1988 - My Dad died from heart failure at the age of 72.  This was the final blow for me as now I was the senior member of this branch of my family and I hated it.  I felt the most alone and sad of my life.

One little person kept the glimmer of life burning in me - my grandson!  The only time I felt any happiness or joy was during the time spent with him.  I arranged with his Dad and Mom for him to spend most of his summer vacation with me and also his winter break time.  We did everything we could together as at that time I was still living in a small town in the Kootenay's so there was lots of opportunity for outdoor activity. And I was learning about video games in the evenings. (The early beginnings of me becoming a high tech-grama.)

I was developing a new purpose in life - being the best Grandmother I could be.  I began building my life again by not focusing on what I have lost but being grateful for what I have and on what I can do.  I no longer feel alone but richly blessed with 2 wonderful, supportive son's and their wives who care for me like loving daughters.  I have 4 grandchildren who make me want to live to be a 100 or more.
Fill your heart with Love and it will keep you living.
Read  A Grandmother's Love!

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Member Since
Aug 2007
Gina Pertonelli said:
posted on Feb 08, 2009
You will

Live to be 100 :) you have the right attitude, and all the people I've known who have lived long lives belive they will!

Member Since
Feb 2009
Maria Amoroso said:
posted on Feb 09, 2009

For each and every one you lost, I have cried when I read your story. I know the feeling of anger and helplessnes. You must have a really strong faith to be as positive as you still are!

Member Since
Aug 2007
Brian Childers said:
posted on Feb 09, 2009
That was a bad decade

I can't really imagine how you felt during that time, but I'm certainly glad that you are here with us today ....

Member Since
Aug 2007
Peter Catronova said:
posted on Feb 17, 2009

Sounds about like my year last year. Heart goes out to you.

Member Since
Feb 2009
MaryHelen Cuellar said:
posted on Feb 18, 2009

Sorry for what you went through; the same thing happened in my family from 1988 through 1993, so I know......and like you, looked to the future and the living instead of living in the past, but I still miss them all......every day.  Loved your format.

Member Since
Aug 2008
Adara Bernstein said:
posted on Feb 19, 2009

That was a hard time. There really aren't words for so much loss, because nothing brings the loved ones back. They certainly made you the wonderful person you are today and you carry on their memories. Bless you for sharing these wonderful people with all of us and your relatives - imagine when they read this in the future....

Member Since
Aug 2007
Archibald Sharron said:
posted on Apr 05, 2009
I know this feeling

Miss Barbara,

I know this place very well. I have visited it many times, kicking & screaming each time. When our friends and family leave us it's so difficult to cope. I'm unfortunately visiting another cycle of this as my friends around me succumb. Sometimes it feels like waking up is "what is the point?" but then my grandchildren will call or visit and all is right again in the world.

Thank you for sharing this deeply emotional story with all of us. I would be honored to read more about your life.

With respect,
Archibald Sharron