Janis Holcomb

  1967 -
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Janis's Story > Chapters > My Entire Life

"My Binkie" 


Date Range: 1967 To 06/15/2009   Comments: 2   Views: 6,106
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My mother was a big craft person (her skills did NOT rub off on me). She crocheted for me a soft, fuzzy blankie that I carried with me everywhere I went. I used to, like Linus in Peanuts, carry that thing in one hand, dragging behind me (and getting filthy) and sucking my thumb with the other hand.

I know that I'd cry if my Binkie got lost (misplaced) or even when my mother had to wash it (which was often).

I couldn't sleep without it.

Once we went on a trip and we forgot to put it in the car among the hub-bub. The family story goes that I ruined the entire trip because all I did was cry for my Binkie. You can bet that it was never forgotten again (nor was the story!)

I am honestly not even sure what happened to it. I suspect it disintegrated after so much use and wear and tear and washings. I grew up and eventually stopped sucking my thumb and carrying it around. I wonder where it went though. Like many people, I have this tendency to inflict human emotions and substance onto THINGS that I care about. To me my Binkie was an extension of me, and therefore very special.

I've done this too with my piano, a bicycle, and my old childhood desk. When I give up these items, I feel as though they're sad, waiting for me to return and give them childhood joy again.

I asked my mother where my Binkie ever went, and she evaded the question. I did not press. But I do get all sad if I think of Binkie being stuffed in an old, musty box in the corner of the attic with spiders and rats. I think of it sad, missing me, and wondering what it did wrong.

yeah I probably need some help.....

***tribute to My Binkie***

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Member Since
Jan 2009
Sam Henderson said:
posted on Jun 21, 2009
I had a stuffed animal

I apparently dragged that thing everywhere. It was some weird scrarecrow type doll or something. It had little black beads as eyes (long gone so my mother sewed in some black felt) and was washed so many times I think it distinegrated..... ah, childhood

Member Since
Jun 2009
Janis Holcomb said:
posted on Jun 25, 2009
my blanket

is probably just a bunch of yarn barely connected now too :)