| It Has Been A Rough Year |
I am adding this additional chapter to my introduction, because after I initially wrote the introduction, it was very difficult to come back to it and try to make sense of all that I have experienced through the various stages of my life and the trials that I have endured or overcome. I wish ...
| The Birth of Charles Leonard Wiggins |
The story has already been written for awhile on my blog "From the heart of Praise, Prayer and Perseverance. 0; Here is a link to that posting, Below are the pictures of the blessed event.
http://fromthehea rt-dotwigg.blogsp ot.com/2008/03/an other-2-prayer-re quest-answered.ht ml
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Valerie's Story > Chapters > Breakups are never easy
| Date Range: 02/19/2010 To 05/13/2010 ||
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|| Views: 1,721 |
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About a month ago my boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me.. The day of at lunch we were all hanging out like usual. Well there is this one guy who is a senior, he's bisexual, and totally not my type, well he was hanging out with us at lunch and kept touching me and stuff, he's a big guy, which makes him stronger than me. He kept holding me and i tried pulling away, but every time i tried, he would just hold me tighter. He kept telling my boyfriend "Look, I've got your girlfriend, what are ya going to do about it." and i could tell my boyfriend was getting jealous. I finally got loose of the guys grip and went over to my boyfriend, while we were talking, the senior went over to us and slapped my butt, and that ticked me and my boyfriend off. We just ignored it, but i could tell it bothered my boyfriend. I tried to hug him, but he was being all stand offish, so i decided to just walk off and talk to my girls. He came over to me to apologize, but i was still a little pissed at that guy and i was also hurt that my boyfriend wouldn't let me hug him. So i ignored him. Then the lunch bell rang to send us back to class. My boyfriend came up to me again and said "Look, I'm sorry i didn't hug you, i was distracted. I am truly sorry, okay?" and so i accepted his apology and kissed him, like normal and walked off to class.
So after school that day i went to find my boyfriend in the courtyard so i could walk halfway home with him. When i went to meet up with him he was acting really weird and seemed upset so i asked him what was wrong, he wouldn't make eye contact with me the whole time while telling me what was wrong, he said "Today in class these two guys were calling me and Paul gay and stuff, i just wish school was over already.." so i said "Aw I'm sorry honey, i want school over too, just ignore those guys, they're stupid." he replied with "Yeah, i know". So i thought everything was okay and just continued walking with him home. when we got to the stop that i walk with him to, we were saying bye and stuff, he still looked upset and i said "Are you sure you're okay? You look upset, you know you can tell me whats wrong, right?" and he said "Yeah I'm fine, just tired." He still wasn't giving me eye contact. We said our goodbyes and he was about to walk off, but turned around and kissed me and said bye, then continued walking home. I thought everything was fine between us and figured he just had a bad day.
While waiting for my mom to pick me up from school, i texted my boyfriend and said "Hey whats up?" he replied kind of later than usual and said "Hi." That weirded me out because he usually sounds more enthusiastic. I once again asked if he was okay and he replied "I'm just tired of the drama". I didn't think anything of it so i said "Oh you mean with those guys calling you and Paul gay?" and he replied with "No, i mean with our relationship". That totally caught me off guard and i said "What do you mean?" so he said "There is so much drama between us and stuff". I wanted to hear him tell me this over the phone instead of text so when i got home i ran to my room and called him. I asked him what he means and he said "I cant handle being with you anymore, i hate how you always get jealous of Priscilla and I.
[[Priscilla always made me jealous, i knew Tyler had a crush on her before and she was always so close with him]]
And I hate how there are always guys hanging around you, flirting and stuff and you just allow it." I tried telling him how much he meant to me and that i don't mean to have guys always flirting with me, its not my fault i have lots of guy friends. But he insisted that his decision was final and didn't want to get back together with me. He also said that he wished he could say the same, but he just didn't feel i was the world to him anymore.
Even though we broke up, i felt that we could still be really good friends. Lots of my friends and family were telling me that he would come back to me because maybe he was just having a bad day and such. I believed it and was pretty confident in seeing him at school the next day. Well when i went to school the next day, i went to the courtyard where all our mutual friends were. I went to say hi to everyone as usual and hugged them and stuff. When i went to hug my ex, he gave me one of those one arm hugs that are really awkward. That kind of made me feel upset, but i ignored it. When the bell rang for us to go to class i kind of waited to see if he would come talk to me. Before we broke up he would walk me to class. I know i was hoping a little too much that he would walk me to class like he use to, but i was still crossing my fingers. Well finally everyone left so it was just me, him and this girl Priscilla. Tyler (my ex) didn't even acknowledge me and just walked to class with Priscilla. That was when it finally hit me that he was over me... This huge wave of disappointment hit me and i began to cry. I felt so alone walking to class. Tyler was my everything, i talked to him constantly, i texted him 24/7 and even did some things I'm not too proud of now.When i got to class, is when all my tears hit. My mind kept going through all the great memories i had of us, he said he loved me and now look. I'm left without him, it hurts because i believed him when he said he loved me. I don't know why i am still hurt even though i have a new boyfriend and though its been a month. I cant help but wonder if he still thinks about me? When we were together it always felt that he had much more feelings for me than i did for him. I always thought that if we broke up, it would be me that was the heart breaker, not him.Why am i the one who still constantly thinks about us? Why am i still the one who cries over him? There are so many flaws that he has,I never really liked his appearance and i kind of feel that i just dated him because i was desparate for someone. Its not that i am not over him, because i am. I think its the memories that I'm not fully recovered over. How can i move on? I'm tired of thinking about him. I just want to continue my life without him?
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