Since 2006, sometime after giving birth to Ava and having my first brain surgery, I have had some symptoms of a mental illness. I initially believed it was because I was reading a series of book by Dr. David Hawkins that was bringing me closer to God. However, I have had multiple psychotic breaks that required hospitalization. The first psychosis was in 2007 after another surgery, the second in 2008 after I met Violet's father, again in the fall of 2011 and finally in December of 2012.
This last psychotic episode has been different from the previous three because I am actually admitting completely that I have a mental illness that I have to manage. I'm no longer playing with the idea (even in the back of my head) that any of my delusions or hallucinations are founded on anything spiritual. It's too dangerous and I have a young family to raise.
My mental illness has been called Psychotic NS, SchizoAffective, and Bipolar. My most recent diagnosis is "Mood Disorder Due to an Injury (ie, brain tumor)." I think this is as accurate as possible.
I hope that the 2012/2013 psychosis will be my last. I am actively managing my illness with medication, counseling and learning to be aware of my triggers. I avoid reading and watching things that "feel" delusional to me, as that tends to bring up more delusions (I think this is called kindling).