Everything is temporary, nothing is permanent, except suffering. that is permanent.
Well the reason for my being down, I have a new job that I don't want, in a county where I don't want to be, because the awesome job I had before became hell on earth when a new, incompetent, and aggressive cause she's stupid supervisor became ... supervisor about 3 years ago. She became my supervisor. Before that people would sit in my previous supervisor's office and talk about what a good job I did, and she sat across the hall listening to it, and hated me for it, so she made me pay the day she became supervisor. I was picked out and put in her black book from day one. Every meeting we had, she made sure to put me down often and try to make me look stupid in front of others, who at first joined in and pecked away, until I got nasty and smartassed back, then she was all alone against me, didn't stop her or slow her down. The more I do, the more she tries to pile on me to do, she has pushed and made my life unbearable, to the point that at times I have become suicidle. So now I have a job somewhere else. A place that is far more dangerous, and a place where I have to now use my own vehicle, for only a few thousand more a year. I could ask why? but there really is no reason why, it just is. Nothing is ever going to change, nothing. I was doing really well, loosing weight, exercising almost daily, but the real question is, why be healthy, why live longer, when all it's going to be is hell any way? why look good when it just means someone wants to fuck you, and acts like a jackass cause you don't want to fuck them back. I'm completely alone in the world, surrounded by people who I don't know, and who if I did know, I probably would not like very much.
Even if I did like them it would just encourage me to keep sticking around to get fucked some more cause I'm not rich, cause I have to work to keep a roof over my head and over my child's head.