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Patrick 's Story > Chapters > My very early age

Where is the Cookie Jar? 

Date Range: 01/01/1973 To 12/01/1976   Comments: 1 Views: 13408
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When growing up, the number of cookies we were allowed to eat was set and monitored by my mother. Whether this was for budgetary or health reasons I’m not sure, but when I was maybe three years old the strict limit was 2 cookies per day. I liked eating cookies. Favorites in Canada were cookies made from maple syrup, and my other favorites were chocolate. But really any cookies tasted great. Even at three years old, I did not like this ration limit imposed on me.

The cookies were in the cabinet in the very top shelf – which was probably around 6 feet high. My mother thought this was a safe place to place the cookie jar so that the children couldn’t get to it. She underestimated my strategizing capability and my talent to climb anything. The shelves were like a ladder, so it was easy to climb them.

My plan for increasing my daily cookie ration was a three step process:

1. drag the chair to the cabinet
2. use the shelves like a ladder to climb and retrieve cookies
3. climb down, put the chair back and enjoy my stolen treat

One day however, my mother busted me right in the middle of the action. I got spanked, but managed to shove the cookie in my mouth so it wasn’t a total loss. To thwart us, she decided to put a sliding lock at the very top of the door, thinking that this way I would not be open the door and climb on the shelves to get to the cookies. She again under-estimated my desire for cookies.

The spanking was a deterrent so I’d learned that it's not a good idea to get caught. But I wanted, no, I needed more cookies, so I decided to be more careful and came up with a plan.

My plan for increasing my daily cookie ration became now a six step process:
1. drag the chair to the counter top next to the cabinet
2. climb on the shelf, stretch to unlock the door
3. drag the chair in front of the cabinet
4. use the shelves like a ladder to climb and retrieve cookies
5. climb down, drag the chair to the counter again and re-lock the door
6. put the chair back and enjoy my stolen treats

Somehow doubling the steps to get the cookies increased their victory flavor. The maple syrup was sweeter , the chocolate richer. No trace was left behind, except of course that the cookies count continued to go down.

I'm not sure if this caused a budget problem to my family or if they knew about it, but I never get caught again and ate a lot of cookies at an early age.

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Member Since
Aug 2007
Gina Pertonelli said:
posted on Nov 28, 2007

i'll bet you were a bad little boy