I should have thought about my consiquesnes and how this one guy would haunt my dating experence for the rest of my life. Take away all the romance. I should have thought about what could of happened. If I wasnt so young, so nieve. I might have knoticed, I would of left. I wouldnt have this dark hole, haunting me, not letting go.I wanted to get back at my ex. The only way i thought that i could really do that was to go with his best friend, who I met at work. We talked all day for two days, I gave him my number, and I knew that if I went on just ONE date with this guy, I would at least get back at my ex Justin, I should have listened to him. Justin warned me that Billy wasnt a good guy. Honsetly I tuned everything out that justin told me, I had no reason to listen to him, but i was wrong. Billy texted me. Just a simple text asking if we could go for a little date. I got this huge smile on my face. I knew it was my chance to get back at Justin. Of corse i said yes. We made plans to go out on friday. I got so excited, but I was so stupid. It started out like anyother date, he meet my parents, to make sure that he was a good guy, after they accepted him, we were pulling out of the driveway, and headed to the movies. When we got there the movies was packed, there was an old couple to the right of me, and a group of children on the other side of him. The lights dimmed down and the film started rolling, at first it was nice. Then it got, a litttle...weird. Not paying much attention i didnt relize my hand was on his knee. He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his boner. I was discusted. Children and elderly people around us, and to top it all off we have only been on this date for less than one hour. I pulled my hand back, but secounds later he grabbed my hand and forced it appon him again. We repeated this for a few tries until a gave in, and gave him a hand job right in the middle of the movie theater. He whisperd i was a bad girl over and over again. After the movie I should have left, but there was a part of me that was to scared to, and another part that denied the whole thing ever happened. We went to the bowling ally next. Luckly this time there was no tuching. He was just very possesive of me, any guy that would look at me, he would tell them to back off because i was his girl. It got to a point where he had to be holding me at all times to show off his "prize". After bowling we went to the park were he asked me if there was somewhere a little bit more privet for us to go. I wasnt thinking, i was still shocked from the movies, I didnt know what was going on. I took him up this hill and into the dark bushes away from everyone. It was quiet there, and no matter how hard you would scream, no one would hear you. It was a great place to relax and get to know someone, Or at least that was what i thought. We sat there for a little bit before he started repeating over and over, "you are incharge". I would just smile and nod. Trying to change to toppic. This is when it got... dangerous. He grabbed me and threw me on the ground, holding my hands so i wouldnt get away. I tried screaming for help, but just as he planned, it didnt work. He repeated again "you are in charge" and thats the last thing i rememeber, I woke up with my pants around my ankle and bruses around my wrists. I felt funny. Very dis orianted not knowing what just happend. My body was in shock. I staggered home not saying a word to anyone. For the next 3 weeks he would text me, trying to appologize for what he has done to me, and would buy me a present for his mistakes. Not once did i ever write back. To this day, im still dont have any sexual needs twards anyone. I don't feel the want, or desire to do so. It honestly scares me to think about it, and this is something that i will have to deal with for the rest of my life. There will always be a part of me that is missing, and I will never want to have sex. It is a very unpleasent feeling. This is something that Billy took with him.
So please, be very aware of the signs and feelings you have. Sexual harrasment is something that will take time to heal, or will never return. This is not a laughing matter, and if you know someone who as been through this, or is going through this, you need to get them help. Talk to someone, because you are not alone.