Due to a series of unfortunate bereavements and events in childhood into early adulthood,  I was hardwired to always expect  loss, grief, neglect and abandonment in my life. My adaptive behaviour was to make my own needs invisible and show I was always OK and didn't need anyone or anything.  My 'true' self has been disabled since the death of my father when I was 7 years old. 

Now in middle age, I am in the process of 'abling' my true self again, but first I have to work hard to transform the false beliefs and adaptive behaviours I have used to protect myself for so long.  Writing out my experiences helps me to process and unravel the jumbled course of my life in my quest to recover myself.  

The series of 'Becoming a Visible Woman' articles charts my progress and my steps of recovery - my goal is to one day write the final article when I feel I have finally become that visible woman. My initial entries will be heavy and dark as I trawl through the thick of my unresolved grief, but I know in time my writing will lighten up ~ writing for me is the road to wholeness.