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Love and Pens:
Putting the Act of Love on Paper

In many ways, our lives are made up of relationships, but for many of us, the ones that stand out when we are thinking about them are the romantic ones.  Writing is a great way to really get to know ourselves as much as it is a way to let others know us, and romantic relationships can be an integral part of that.  Few people know us as well as our lovers do, and though the experience might have been joyous, sad, or downright bitter, you'll find that writing about romantic relationships can give your own writing a focus that it may have lacked.

The First Kiss

Think back to the first time that you felt the first flutterings of romance.  How old were you?  Many of us still remember having that kindergarten crush that we thought would last forever.  Are you still in contact with that person?  Even if you are not, think about the things that drew you to them.  Are those still the things that draw you to a prospective romance?  How did you show them how you felt?  These can lead to memories that are both endearing and embarrassing, but don't worry.  Just about everyone has stories like this and it can help you really engage a reader.

Fantasies: We All Have Them

p> When you are thinking of romantic relationships, don't discount the power of your imagination.  Sometimes, the things that you dreamed up about your ideal significant other are quite important as well.  What did she look like?  What did he do for a living?  Take a look at this ideal mate and think about how the picture has changed since you were younger.  We grow up, and as our tastes evolve, so will what we look for in a mate.  How do you think you would react upon meeting your high school fantasy?  This can be a truly jarring thing to think about, especially when you look at your own current romantic situation.

Last Verse, Same as the First

For many people, romantic relationships leave us changed.  Sometimes the change is for the better; maybe now we are more trusting, know how to make a really good spaghetti  marina sauce or have a new appreciation of Verdi.  Sometimes, the change is for the worst; we lost a good chunk of money along with our hearts, we have a difficult time trusting others or found out things about ourselves that we didn't really like.  One reason why people are fascinated with relationships is due to the fact that they can change us so irrevocably.  Think about how your own romantic relationships have changed you.  Was it all one way?  How did you change the person you were with?

When you are thinking about romantic relationships, you can also learn a lot about how you feel the ending.  By what standard do you call a relationship a failure?  For some people, a relationship is a failure if it ends, while for others, it's only a failure if you realize that you wouldn't have done it again.  Why did the relationship end?  Was it just pulling slowly apart, or was there some sort of cataclysmic event that spelled out the fact that it was over for you?  Relationship endings can spell the end of a certain point in our lives as well.  What came to a close with the relationship?  What did you have to say good bye to, and what did you do to take care of that loss?


Two for Tea and Baby Makes Three

p Though we tend to see our relationships as separate entities, there is a continuing thread in the way that we treat our significant others.  How have your past relationships affected the one that you are in right now?  Has it made you a more considerate person, or has it made you less trusting?  Is your current relationship paying for the mistakes of your previous one?  Many of us find that the people we were with previously inform our choices on who we choose to be with next.   Write about your last few romantic relationships and see what kind of connections you can find between them.

Part of writing an engaging life story is putting yourself in a place that other people will recognize.  While they might never have stood exactly in your shoes, there is a better than good chance that your readers have felt the same joy and the same sorrow.  Share a little bit of your experience with them, and you'll find that your readers will respond to it.